Crazy Bear Hotel Stays – Beaconsfield
I stay at the Crazy Bear a lot. Why? It’s close to work and due to my bitch of a commute I regularly stay over. As a member (Membership cost £500) one of the benefits is 50% off room rates so I am able to obtain some really reasonable rates as I am flexible with what dates I stay. It beats the Ibis at the Beaconsfield services!
However, this hotel is not about reasonable rates, painful commutes or bog-standard convenience stays.
This hotel is about indulgence and mischief. As they say on their website, they are ‘unapologetically decadent’. Where you go to hideaway for the weekend and bask within velvet walls, sink into cocktails in a cosy bar and divulge in some decent food.
You arrive at huge wooden doors with the façade of the entrance drenched in fairly lights. You step into the reception and greeted by a taxidermy antelope. Yes, a taxidermy antelope.
The hotel is made up of various buildings, some of which are not connected to the main building and are across the road. You know on the street which buildings belong to the Crazy Bear as they are all painted a gunmetal grey.
Your socials will love this place
There are 4 types of rooms- snug, cosy, boujee and decadent. All rooms are very unique, and I have stayed in rooms with black fluffy walls, red velvet walls, black studded leather floors, red padded leather floors. Think thick heavy drapes, studded walls, mirrored ceiling. In certain rooms you have copper bathtubs in the room and the bath fills from the ceiling. You read that correctly. Turn the tap on and the water runs from the ceiling – probably a padded red velvet or black stuffed leather ceiling at that.
The rooms are not practical – they are dark and I have lost more than one black sock in a room in my time in addition to my glasses-twice. However, this hotel is not about being practical. There are no bathroom doors. In replacement to a door is a heavy drape. Make of it what you will.
Crazy rooms but crazy food?
There are two restaurants at the hotel. The English Restaurant is where you will find breakfast, lunch and dinner. Personally, I don’t think the photo on the website does it much justice. Lots of white leather and a lovely round table in a semi leather booth.
For menu options think prawn cocktail, hearty soups, tomahawk steak, duck leg, treacle sponge.
The second restaurant which is relatively new is the Hom Thai restaurant and I love it there. I always have a chicken noodle dish which is beautifully presented and very tasty with a wonderful chilli kick. Always great value for money and whilst not on the room service menu they usually allow me to have it in my room.
Crazy food? No. A solid offering from English heritage and Thailand.
What to do at the Crazy Bear
You must hang out in the bar and have a cocktail – the bar like the rooms is opulent. Talking point is always the toilets. Mirrored walls with eternity views. Washing your hands in no ordinary task here. A small section of wall is missing between the gents and ladies’ toilets and is home to a sink which has a rainfall shower effect. Place your hands here and you could end up holding hands with someone on the other side…..
There is a small pool terrace, and I love to sit here in the summer evenings and do a little work on my laptop. Have a drink here, have a dip, get dressed up or hang out in your hotel robe. Anything goes.
Thai massages are on offer and a new addition to the property is a gym and there are wellness packages available.
The hotel is located in old Beaconsfield and if you did want to get out to see some daylight there are a number of lovely pubs and restaurants within a 5-minute walk.
Crazy Bear- stunning, strange…or both? Is it worth the hype?
Both! I say in the nicest possible way that the place is quite strange and even though I regularly stay for purpose of practicalities (and I have to say that the team there are always so very kind to me- shout out to Annabel at reception who always appears pleased to see me and goes the extra mile to welcome me back) this is where you go with a partner for a bolt hold stay. Get checked in, order a cocktail and shut the drapes and forget about the ordinariness of everyday life. Without saying too much, this place is sexy.
Things to know about the Crazy Bear:
A couple of the snug rooms are just that- snug. If you are going to celebrate a special occasion or spoil a partner, then at least book a cosy room.
Tea and coffee makers are available in all rooms, dressing gowns provided but no slippers.
They host some pretty cool events such as pool parties, themes parties such as a circus night. Perhaps combine a stay with one of these for an extra special stay.
